Monday Posts

Drivers License

I’ll get a little bit personal today, so sit tight folks or immediately click away which ever’s fine this isn’t going to be particularly deep. At least I don’t think it will be.

I don’t drive. I took the written test in high school when I wasn’t even sixteen yet, there was a bomb scare that day, and I missed passing by like three questions. I didn’t really loose any sleep over this nor did I really go out of my way to try to take the test when I did turn sixteen. Most teenagers I knew associated driving with freedom, and while my home life wasn’t perfect I personally had no desire for the kind of freedom my classmates did. Cars meant money and expenses and I didn’t have a job and my parents were divorcing so money was a weird topic. Additionally, to be completely blunt, I didn’t go out with friends because I barely had any, and there wasn’t anywhere I wanted to go that I couldn’t just get a ride to from my parents on weekends.

Long story short I had a convenient excuse to avoid leaving the passenger seat and nothing really motivated me to change that until now. I’m older, I’m still not working (I was but that was an on campus job and I graduated), and the kind of freedom driving can provide is something I want now. Especially since I plan on living at home for the forceable future (I’ve got no money and no reason to move out). The trouble is while my initially excuses are no longer as relevant, my other reason for avoiding the road is taking it’s place as the giant elephant in the room. The idea of driving gives me anxiety.

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I’ve decided to officially start therapy and it’s been going well so far. Naturally driving came up and I’ve decided to take the knowledge test this Saturday to get the ball rolling.  I wish I could say that my nerves have gone down, but that’d be a lie. Thinking about being on the road with other people is kinda terrifying. I know the benefits far outweigh the negative, however anxiety doesn’t really care about reality.

If you’re in the same boat I am, I don’t really have an tried and true advice to give you because it’s been a while since I’ve taken getting my drivers license seriously. What I can do is share what I’m doing to prepare:

  1. I set a date to take the test- As I mentioned above I plan on taking the written test this Saturday and giving myself a deadline is somewhat helpful for my focus. In school I was always a procrastinator so to be honest I haven’t cracked down heavily yet since that’s my study style.
  2. I told people- I wouldn’t recommend telling everyone you know because then you’ll be thinking to much about other peoples opinions. For example I know my dad wants me to drive a lot and father’s day is the day after I plan on testing so I haven’t actually told him because I don’t want to focus on the idea of letting him down. I did however tell my sister, because she’s taking finals this week and I figure we can help each other study. I also told my mom because she’ll be driving me.
  3. Work on anxiety- Not completely related to the actual driving part of getting a license, but if I wasn’t making a conscious effort to work on myself I wouldn’t have made any progress at all. Having someone else rooting for me/working to help me better myself is encouraging and I know I’ll have someone to talk to if for some reason I don’t do well.

By this weekend I’ll know if I’ll be moving on to part two: practicing for the road test, and for anyone who may find it helpful I’ll try to share my progress. If you made it here thanks for reading and wish me luck! If you are working on getting you’re license or anything that gives you anxiety good luck from me and I hope you get what you want/need ✊🏽🖖🏽🙏🏽 Stay informed and see you Friday 😘

 

***Featured Image: My state ID picture (so happy) and the dreaded Driver Manual.

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