Monday Posts

Self Diagnosing

I’m going to start off by issuing the standard consult your doctor/ don’t take any meds without a prescription disclaimer because I’m not planning on being liable for whatever happens after you read this. I just write about what I know:

As I kid I realized I needed glasses before my doctor did. I don’t know if I was doing the eye tests wrong, but I did notice that I needed my dad’s spectacles if I wanted to read words on the TV screen. I’ve worn glasses since I was about 10 (I’m 22 now). Moving on to my mouth, when I got older dentists skirted around the idea of me needing braces, but it was me who finally said that it was a problem and that I wanted to do something about it.

Generally speaking I’m not the worlds most assertive person, but when it comes to the things I know I need I’ve tended to be able to step up to the plate. As far back as middle school, I know that I’ve struggled socially and on the internet I tended to find myself agreeing with and somewhat self diagnosing myself with anxiety because it’s what I felt to be true. The same way I knew I needed glasses and braces, something told me that I was dealing with more than just regular nervousness. My mother certainly tries to make me feel normal* and there are plenty of times where I can see that my nerves are completely justified in being frazzled.

However, when you know, you know. It’s been a long time coming, but I have officially started talking to an actual therapist, which I honestly wasn’t initially going to write about, and am working on sorting things out. Obviously some peoples initial thoughts can be a little bit off and there are those who see one list of symptoms and think they’re dying, but generally speaking I think its a good place to start to check your instincts. Even if I can’t always express it (and part of my problem is the over thinking part) I tend to keep tabs on my mind/body and what it is that it needs.

Essentially whether you can afford therapy or not, don’t trick yourself into thinking everything’s fine or manageable when it’s not. Any kind of help is a good thing. It took me much longer to come to that conclusion than I did with glasses and braces, but so far it’s been worth it. On a lighter (ish) and more amusing note, I can recall a time when my older cousin asked me if I liked boys or girls (I was pretty young at the time) and I got confused by the question and said I liked both equally. The jokes on both of us now because I got it right back then and it took me a little too long to come to terms with that as well 😝

*Normal is obviously subjective. I mostly mean that she tries not to catastroph-ize things.

**Featured Image- Which of these faces is you right now??? Kidding they’re just paint samples 🙃

 

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